FROM AIDS TO METH

By Don:

Sometimes I reflect back and remember the day I tested positive for HIV. I was living in LA, working full time as a Sales Representative, going to school at UCLA for a second degree in Interior Design. My life was filled with passion. I was alive for the first time in years. When I got the news that I tested HIV positive, my life collapsed before me. I dropped out of school and dropped in a support group in West Hollywood with 300 other men that were preparing to die. I learned their was a spirit inside, not to fear death, and to love myself. My spirit grew stronger and I refused to give up.

I moved back to Houston to be surrounded by my friends only to attend memorial services for all of them over the next six years. I was the last to survive. A job transferred me to Denver and in five years I retired in South FL.

Now there appears to be yet another epidemic of mass proportions. Lifeormeth.org estimates that the number of gay men addicted to Cmeth far out numbers the number of men that died of AIDS in the 80's. It seems as though as soon as there was hope for living with HIV, the celebration of sex and partying went out of control. Men of all ages are sero-converting due to the reckless use of CMeth. Men in their 20's and early 30's have little idea how many friends I have had to say good-bye to over the last 22 years. I wonder sometimes if the general apathy or our gay community is a result of the self absorbed nature of the drug? This is a time in our country when the gay community should be its strongest; which is simply not the case. I don't view gay pride as I did in the 80s. From the gay flag to the equality flag, we still want to be treated equal and with respect; yet we don't respect ourselves. Although this epidemic, as AIDS, does not reflect the entire gay community; it does effect us all. It is yet another stumbling block that is subdividing our gay culture. How ironical that Adolph Hitler was a Cmeth addict who killed millions of Jews and homosexuals and now there is a segment of our community that is using this drug to not only kill themselves, but to subdivided us once again. It is time that men open their eyes to this destruction and take charge and responsibility of their lives. One day, will we wake up and find our civil rights and basic funding for HIV taken away? If we truly want positive things to happen, such as gay marriages; then let us show responsibility for our actions. How can we expect the "straight community" to honor our civil rights when we don't honor ourselves?

Email Don at: N2MsclsNLthr @ aol.com